In-flight Observations: Breakups and Bad Flights

The Annual Airline Quality rating survey was released earlier this week and it got me thinking – with so many complaints about the airline industry, what happens to all the complaint letters? Do the airlines ever read the letters? Do they care? Maybe there is a person who is hired specifically to read complaint letters from travelers and post the best ones on a cork board in the community kitchen. Every month the airline holds a company meeting and they read the best complaint letter from that month. Maybe that lucky person gets a note back from the airline with coupon for a bag of free peanuts.

The recent quality report says, “The annual Airline Quality Rating survey found that more bags were lost, more passengers were bumped, more consumers complained and fewer flights arrived on-time than in the previous year.” So, by all reasonable accounts, we can assume that nothing gets done when someone complains, at least not from the airline. But writing the letter does help the traveler.

Take, for example, a recent break-up. There are so many things you want to say to your ex but you didn’t get the chance. When he says, “I just want to have my cake and eat it, too,” you could have something witty like, “Not in this bakery, pal!” and thrown a pie in his face. Instead you just stand there with your mouth open in wonderment at the fact that he really just said that. So you missed your chance and instead, you sit down to pen a letter. Maybe you’re bold enough to send it, but even if you don’t you feel better after writing it.

So it stands to reason that writing the airlines a complaint letter would do the same thing. You didn’t get a chance to tell them off at the airport because you were too damn tired from getting bumped off flights and waiting for your luggage to arrive. I felt that way after my Air France fiasco. I wrote a letter telling off the airline, but alas, I never sent it. I did feel better, however, after telling off the bitch (in my letter) at the Air France counter when she closed the doors to our connecting flight, which was still at the gate.

It’s only right at this time to post the ultimate airline complaint letter. This little ditty was written by a Continental Airline’s passenger seated in Seat 29E.